If I Could Write A Note To God...

ok.. this year...
im already 25...
ok mcm ni..
aku dapat offer
as pegawai kat satu
agensi kerajaan ni..
gaji pun agak mahsyuk la..
tu yang aku pening nak pk ni...
perlukah aku terima?..
or adakah aku nak lg
hidup sebagai servivor
as anak seni?
mean carik lubang duit..
join teater sane sini..
carik show sume..
even tak terjamin..
tp memang tu
makanan jiwa aku..

tp since im 25 this year...
this should be a serious matter now ...
i have to think forward
and should start to think seriously
tentang future dan masa depan
memang sejujurnya..
aku tak sanggup nak korban minat aku terhadap seni..
sbb tau la biler dah jd pegawai kerajaan ni..
masa kerja memang membataskan..

pulak tu aku dapat kat area johor
kalau dapat kat upm ke um ke ukm ke kl ke.. cheras ke....
aku kire masih ok lgi.. boleh digagahkan diri untuk meronggeng dan menyertai aktiviti kesenian yang sememangnya berkembang maju di sekitar kl.

Study/ sambung belaja?
sebenarnye aku tengah stuck dengan proposal aku ni wei...
kekurangan sumber maklumat
tu yang aku blank
tu yang pening pk pasal direction yang aku harus pilih
aku memang kalau leh nak sambung stdy.. lg dengan tawaran study yang agak baik itu...
tu at this moment.. i have to have something yang bleh backup aku..
tp aku buntu la sbb plan nak study aku masih lg tak tergerak2..
actually sume dah mcm ok..
tp aku nak siapkan literature review tu paling menyakitkan

pening samade nak terima
offer kerja ni ke tak..
sbb biler dengan kerajaan
dah jd pegawai kerajaan
kene bg komitmen yang serious..
ikutkan aku taknak..
nak sambung study secepat mungkin..
tp nak tunggu jawapan tu lama gak..berbulan..
jd..ok la aku rasa aku akan accept keje ni dlu..
then aku dalam masa yang sama aku apply study tu...
dalam gov pun ade kan cuti belaja sume
kalau untung2 leh aku mintak tukar ke um ke keje tu

urm...
kalau dah buat kptsn..
telan je la advantage n disadvantage nya...
kepada korang.. aaku sangat hargai kalau korang sudi melontarkan idea korang.. sbb dalam situasi sekarang, aku mungkin tak memandang perkara ini dengan rasionalnya...

tp takpe... keputusan dah di buat
kan..? takpe.. mesti ade hikmah..
dan sejauh mana aku pegi
seperit mana memilih jalan terbaik
aku takkan berhenti dengan impian aku nak jd
someone dlm industri seni kite ni..
takpe..

"time untuk berkorban demi sesuatu yang lbh baik.. insyaallah'"

This Is A Real Life....

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love.. But it came too soon
And there was me and you.. And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels... As we go on
We remember All the times we Had together
And as our lives change.. Come whatever
We will still be Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs.. And we make the big money
When we look back now... Will our jokes still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can we ever find a job that won't interfere with a tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?.. Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly